I totally have to be the worst person in the world.
I am failing everyone.
From my kids, to my husband, to my friends.
I can't stand knowing I am not doing the right thing. Or at least what I feel is the right thing.
I know parenting didn't come with a manual. But I could really use one right now. I am so tired of my kids' whining and constant fighting. Everything is a competition to them. EVERYTHING. If they can't have the bowl they wanted for cereal, a meltdown ensues. And it's not just one. It's all three! I don't know why they don't listen to me. No, I don't mean listen by 'pick up your socks'. I mean really listen. I will tell them no (for a certain reason) and they will meltdown. I try and explain why I said no, and they can probably eat (wear, use, have, etc) that certain item later. But they don't hear me. All they heard is no. And it frustrates me to no end! UGH!
As for marriage, well who really gives a rats azz? If he is unwilling to make a change, why should I? Should I stay and keep on living the lie? Why should I just be okay with the way he wants to be? WHAT ABOUT ME?? When do I get a say in things? Oh, that's right. The hired help doesn't have a voice.
And to my friends, I am sorry. I know I haven't been the best one lately.
I have royally screwed up one friendship so much, I don't think my friend will ever talk to me again. To this friend, I am so sorry. It was a total miscommunication. I felt attacked. My first think was to defend myself. I am sorry. It should of never went on that way. I care about you very much, and I can't stand the thought of you not speaking to me. I told you that you were going to have to make the next move. I have said my part, now I just have to wait and see what you think. I know our friendship is worth saving. We have been through so much and to let one little mistake get in our way, would be stupid. Please know I am always here for you, NO.MATTER.WHAT! I know you are hurting right now. If time is what you need, then fine. I am willing to wait. You are definately a friend worth waiting for. You are someone special.
I am just a big ol' failure.
2 comments:
oh {{{{{HUGS}}}}} so sorry things are tough right now and don't I wish parenting came with a manual. Men can be butts. Worry about you first because if you aren't a good you, you aren't a help to anyone else.
HUGS HUGS HUGS!!! You need some big ol hugs! Things are not easy sometimes. But you are not a failure! Look at the good in everyday and everything. I hope things work themselves out for you!
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